good way to impress your postman is to send yourself a leather jacket addressed to "really cool guy" then answer the door with sunglasses onabout 8 minutes ago
"hello yes i'd like the biggest and most stupidest musical instrument you've got" - how all tuba players start outabout 1 hour ago
put a tiny blindfold on a hamster spin it around in its cage 10 times then shout "GO!" and watch in awe as it completely doesn't give a shitabout 20 hours ago
